Go somewhere you’ve never been
“Be a traveller; not a tourist.”
If you have read any of my previous articles, you will be aware of this notion of the ‘cosmic joke’ I frequently mention. If you asked me to explain what it means, admittedly I would struggle and tell you that it’s just one of those things where if you get it, you get it. Thankfully, this article here may aid in giving you more insight on what exactly the cosmic joke alludes to. I speak of it as a philosophy and a way of life, in which all people who seem to be aware of it often share similarities to one another, perhaps in behaviour or general outlook on life. I’d like to think Anthony Bourdain was one of these people.
Most people would recognise Bourdain from his popular travel shows, namely No Reservations, which aired from 2005 to 2013, and Parts Unknown, airing from 2013 until his death in 2018. The premise of these network TV shows was, as Bourdain himself once put it so eloquently: "I travel around the world, eat a lot of shit, and basically do whatever the fuck I want". Sure, the places Bourdain visited, the cultures he learned about and the food he ate were interesting enough, but what really excited his audience was the man himself - Bourdain had bags of both charisma and personality. He was an interesting and outspoken character, and someone whose opinions and viewpoints you would actively want to hear.
Bourdain’s love for food stemmed from his youth where, according to his own recollection, he tried his first oyster while on a family vacation in France. He would eventually go on to work in several restaurants around the States before graduating from The Culinary Institute of America in 1978 and going on to be Head Chef at numerous restaurants in and around New York City. Throughout his career as a chef, Bourdain also kept an interest in writing. This included both fictional works, which did not reap much commercial success, as well as articles for newspapers and magazines. It was an article he wrote that ended up being published for the April 1999 issue of The New Yorker entitled ‘Don’t Eat Before Reading This’ which would launch him into the spotlight while simultaneously serving as a prelude to his 2000 book ‘Kitchen Confidential: Adventures In The Culinary Underbelly’. The latter topped the New York Times list for nonfiction bestseller after the author’s death 18 years later.
So, what was Anthony Bourdain’s stance on life? Why do I think that his philosophy is one that gravitated towards the allusory cosmic joke?
As much as Bourdain came across as a very direct and solemn person, there was always a sense of Dadaist-esque unseriousness and self-awareness in the way he conducted himself, once stating: “I have an operating principle that I am perfectly willing, if not eager, to believe that I am completely wrong about everything. I think that’s a good operating principle”. Further tying into the idea of enlightenment, Bourdain said: “maybe that is enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom is realising how small I am, unwise, and how far I have yet to go”.
Leaning on the concept of egotism, for someone as high up as Bourdain in the world of celebrities, both ordinarily and in the culinary world, there was a remarkable level of modesty surrounding his character. Despite being quoted to say that writing, something he seemed to love and the initial reason for his success, was in fact, just a “show of narcissism and vanity for the writer” – the Bourdain we see on our TV screens was anything but narcissistic or vain. He was able to transform himself into a clean slate no matter where in the world he would be, free from any prejudice or judgements about the culture he would find himself around. Naturally, Bourdain was not afraid of new experiences, never one to shy away from getting shit-faced drunk in a random bar halfway around the world with the locals or drinking raw cow’s blood with members of the Maasai tribe in Kenya. This is another key message in his way of life: do not fear new experiences and keep your mind as open as possible. Another quote from the man himself reads: “Go somewhere you’ve never been, eat whatever they have there, wake up and smell the coffee, don’t be afraid to indulge yourself occasionally and drink socially whenever and wherever possible”. The latter half of the quote is something I can hugely appreciate – everything in moderation is the message – wanting to indulge in hedonistic pleasures is only natural and it doesn’t mean we can’t be good people just because we like to welcome temptation now and then. Peak self-awareness is understanding and simply bearing witness to what thoughts go through our mind without any judgement nor perhaps even the compulsion to act on them. We, as humans, would only be doing a disservice to ourselves if we were to avoid how we truly feel inside under the pretence of trying to live up to constructs of what society deems to be ‘acceptable behaviour'.
Something else to admire about Bourdain was his unwillingness to ever ‘sell out’ or be coerced into doing things he didn’t deem moving or valuable in any way. Perhaps in a Dave Chappelle kind of way, or as Tony puts it himself - due to his ‘vanity’, he had no problem turning down large amounts of money for stuff he didn’t want to do: “To be honest, a lot of it wasn’t because I have any integrity, it was because I didn’t want to take a million dollars to represent anti-diarrhoea medicine”.
In regards to his television shows, each episode would serve as a history lesson, a politics lesson and a lesson on culture & philosophy all in one. Not only would Anthony show us a whole new side of the world, but he would actively engage himself in the culture and speak to local people about their stories in order to gain a further understanding of the reasoning of why things are the way they are, wherever he may be. The beauty of watching Parts Unknown, for example, is seeing that despite the cultural barriers that may exist between people, food is universal and something everyone can form a connection through. At the same time, Bourdain’s commentary over each episode would give us a simple, non-biased lecture of the history of the country or city he was in, touching on what prevalent social injustices may exist there or letting us know what exactly the colonising countries we call home have done to others.
Bourdain always struck me as a person who grasped the mechanics of our world. He understood, and saw for himself countless times, how much suffering there is in the world, how cruel life has been to people through no fault of their own, but at the same time he understood despite all the negativity there is: “...if not more beauty, kindness, humour and people doing the best they can in often very, very difficult situations”. Dualistic cosmology, yin and yang, the balance of life – whatever you want to call it. Anthony was a prime example of not just believing in this philosophy but being one with it; there aren’t too many people that I know of, famous or not, you could see enjoying a Negroni at the Chateau Marmont one week and cooking coq au vin on a boat travelling down the Congo River the next.
Just evaluating his life as a whole, Anthony was someone who had lived through both absolute lows and elated highs. As he has been vocal about throughout his life, he was a long-term drug addict. Once being hailed as the ‘heir apparent to Hunter S. Thompson’, his years as a chef in New York City saw him experimenting with everything from LSD and amphetamines to cocaine and heroin: “We were high all the time, sneaking off to the walk-in refrigerator at every opportunity to ‘conceptualise’. Hardly a decision was made without drugs”. This intense drug use was initially most likely brought on by the exhaustingly long hours and sheer pressure of working in the restaurant industry, especially during the 1980s and in New York City of all places where, at the time, a drug epidemic was widespread. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, the food services industry has the highest rate of illicit drug use in any occupation showing that this is still a prevalent problem to this day. Despite using many of these drugs recreationally, it was predictably heroin, followed by crack cocaine that Bourdain would form a serious addiction to in the early 1980s. Thankfully, he would beat these addictions within the same decade, meaning he was well over 20 years clean at the time of his death.
The cause of his untimely death was ruled as an apparent suicide-by-hanging in his hotel room while on location in Colmar, France filming for Parts Unknown. The results of his toxicology report came back negative for any narcotics and he did not leave behind a note or message, leading the public prosecutor of the town of Colmar to rule the suicide as a completely impulsive act.
In a recent interview with GQ, Morgan Neville, the director of an upcoming documentary about Bourdain, was asked whether it was another parabolic case of ‘American fame’ that killed Anthony, to which he replied: “I think for somebody who is fundamentally shy and curious… I’m sure it contributed to him becoming somewhat agoraphobic later in life. He had crazy imposter syndrome all through his career. The feeling that he didn’t deserve it, or it wasn’t going to last. But I don’t think fame was the real culprit, because his depression and addiction and OCD and manic behavior all existed before he became famous”. Neville goes on to say: “Tony was a seeker, who was always looking for the next thing that was going to be interesting but also maybe going to fix something in his life. And seeking is such a good thing in general, but if you’re really seeking, you’re lost. I feel like Tony was somebody who took something that was worthy, like seeking, and took it to such an extent that… I don’t know. I just have this image of Tony and this hall of mirrors: Not knowing where he’s going or where he’s coming from”.
I think Anthony Bourdain’s philosophy is relatively easy to understand and universal. At its core, some of its main principles I believe are introspective self-awareness, an understanding of the balance of life, a questioning attitude and simply not taking anything too seriously. Bourdain showed us that there is still beauty in imperfection and that good and bad are two sides of the same coin. Taking into account the story of Anthony’s life and the way in which he passed, it only serves to intensify the mystery behind the man and his philosophy. That beneath the introspection and light-hearted approach he had towards life, a darkness lurked that he wasn’t ever quite able to shake off. However, as is often the case with unique figures like Bourdain, their wisdom lives on in the hearts and minds of their followers.
“The truth is a wink. Life winks at us and we’re just too serious to wink back - that is our prison”
Written by Dillon Gohil